Caroline Sophia Hamel

Author & Poet

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Self-Love, Healing, & Mental Health

Hello! My name is Caroline Sophia Hamel and I use she/her pronouns! I am a pansexual* transgender** girl and 22 years old. Being able to show all these wonderful emotions is my dream – to be able to have people feel and become kinder people.

I love emotional media that can make me cry. Bittersweet stories that make me simultaneously cry and smile, utterly break and heal you with a cradling touch, and stories balancing hope and despair, love and loss, especially tragedy, are my two favorite genres.

My love for stories started with reading and I love being drawn into a book, something I have far less time for as time passes. I love anime and most of my favorite stories and characters come from it that have left me in uncontrollable tears and beautiful smiles. I love the beauty of orchestral music and it is part of the reason I can have the empathy that I do, as I replay the emotions in my head as I listen to its beauty.

My favorite composer is Yuki Kajiura, her music so bittersweet, personal, touching, haunting, weighty, and dream-like. She has brought me through so much and inspired much of this book. I have a liking for tragic characters, who are broken and alone. My favorite characters are Homura Akemi from Madoka Magica and Madoka Magica Rebellion, Kirika from Noir, Mizore from Liz and the Blue Bird and Sound! Euphonium, Slaine Troyard from Aldnoah.Zero, Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, and Frodo Baggins are all characters that have stuck in my heart and been taken with me.

I enjoy Nintendo games, though I do not play videogames as much as I used to. I love to run and focused on it for years, until I realized that it was not what I truly wanted to focus on. I really enjoy the peace of nature and to camp and hike.

I am an introverted girl who is building her confidence. Being on hormones has made it easier and almost effortless to both talk and cry now (though I do need to warm up to talking first).

I used to hate myself, felt selfish and alone, and (content warning) I was suicidal. I had no confidence or sense of self-worth. I was also incredibly timid and self-conscious.

I’ve had to go on my own journey to find self-love and healing. The world has become a much brighter place and I am glad to still be here, even if it is hard sometimes. I hope that I am able to help some of you heal. My goal is to help you find love within yourself, to grow self-worth, and accept your strengths and all the parts of yourself. Sometimes we’re far too broken, but when we mend, it’s all worth it. Someday I know that you will love yourself.

If I can help anyone with my writing, then it is worth it.

I hope to show that there is light and beauty in life, even as there is also darkness, and that we can embrace both and be whole.

I also hope that you can see yourself in my writing. It took me years to both accept myself as trans and pan and I couldn’t start my own journey to self-love and wanting to live until I accepted myself as trans.

I am unapologetically a girl.

I am unapologetically a trans girl.

I am unapologetically me and I will show myself to the world as everything that I am.

I have a piece below that I wrote for my social media platforms, but it discusses why I write and what I write about.

*Pansexual (pan) – Attracted to all genders

**Transgender (trans) – My gender does not match the one assigned to me at birth

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You are worth more

Then every star in the sky
And every shade of gold
More than the world
You deserve to be here
So please don’t go
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Trigger Warning: Brief Discussion of Suicide
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Suicide and suicidal ideation is a topic that lands very close to my heart. I’ve been with those thoughts for years of my life and several of those close to me have attempted suicide. I nearly did. Fortunately, we’re all still here and in much better places. In my content, I frequently deal with characters in my stories working towards self-love, self-worth, self-acceptance, and confidence in themselves and their strengths, as well as finding meaning in life. Many of my characters feel selfish or empty. But I also balance my work with levity, because there is so much brightness in this world. My works are often bittersweet, mixing light and dark. I frequently have characters who are LGBTQ+. As a pansexual trans girl, who took years to accept herself for both, this is very important to me, because I never had that growing up and I hope to help normalize people seeing themselves in my characters. Most of my characters are girls, because I can see myself in them and feel myself. My books are personal, they’re close, and I hope that they’re healing. I’m a poet too and deal with self-love the most in my poetry.
My DMs on social media are open. If I can help anybody, just know that I want to. Please know that I am human. I’m not always stable and I have to deal with my own mental health. I’m also not a therapist. Some things are overwhelming for me and I won’t always respond immediately, and not because I don’t care. I’m scared, but I want to offer this anyway, because if I can help anyone, then I’m doing something meaningful. Also know that this is emotional work. I want you here and I want to try to listen. 
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– Caroline Sophia Hamel (she/her)